At what point does it become neglect?

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shanedaman112
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At what point does it become neglect?

Post by shanedaman112 » Wed Aug 17, 2016 11:49 pm

About a year ago I had some motivation problems and sometimes went on 5-6 days without feeding or replacing water. Not to get too deep, but I wonder if I can justify that as being a mental issue. That is not why I'm posting this though. Sometimes when I'm super tired or stressed out, like last night, I can't find the strength to tend to the crabs, and sometimes, like today, I find we are out of paper towels or something so I have to wait even longer. If I had taken care of them last night, even though I was super tired, they wouldn't be 2 days overdue.. Would you call it neglect/irresponsibility? Can I really write it off as being tired while my crabs end up with 4 day old food and water? I struggle with this. Makes me feel like a bad caretaker.
P. S. I rarely vent like this since I'm an Introvert, but be honest please!
2 small PPs: Leonardo, Biscuit
3 medium to large PPs: Kermit Rocketson, Lulu, Strawberry (named because he is red, not actually a straw)
1 Neon Tetra: Stevie. 1 Crawfish: Larry
R.I.P. Larry, Crabby, and Hermie (all PPs) O'mally (Neon Tetra) John Cena(Crawfish)

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bbcraft22
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by bbcraft22 » Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:59 am

I don't really know the question. Can you tell me the question? Maybe I will be able to answer.
"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you." -Jon Bunyan

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GotButterflies
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by GotButterflies » Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:19 am

shanedaman112 wrote:About a year ago I had some motivation problems and sometimes went on 5-6 days without feeding or replacing water. Not to get too deep, but I wonder if I can justify that as being a mental issue. That is not why I'm posting this though. Sometimes when I'm super tired or stressed out, like last night, I can't find the strength to tend to the crabs, and sometimes, like today, I find we are out of paper towels or something so I have to wait even longer. If I had taken care of them last night, even though I was super tired, they wouldn't be 2 days overdue.. Would you call it neglect/irresponsibility? Can I really write it off as being tired while my crabs end up with 4 day old food and water? I struggle with this. Makes me feel like a bad caretaker.
P. S. I rarely vent like this since I'm an Introvert, but be honest please!
I think I understand with what you are saying. I would like to tell you what I am going through. I have health issues. I am on tons of medications. Everyday is a struggle for me to muster up energy to do things. About a month ago I started lurking on this forum "scouting" for someone I could reach out to give my 14 hc to. I have had them for almost 5 years now. They were given to my son from my mom who educates pet stores about hc's and the care they require. She stopped the Walmarts in her area from selling them anymore. She came down here one visit and educated the pet stores. They listened to her, and fixed their tanks. Anyways, what I keep in mind is these wonderful creatures depend on us. They cannot get out of their tanks to get fresh or salt water. They cannot get the food they need stuck in their tanks. If you cannot do that, then you should find them a new home. That is being responsible. Anyways, long story short, I have been responsible, but reading this forum has made me see the joy in them again. I look forward to watching these creatures everyday! I personally thank everyone in this forum for helping me see how unique and exciting these creatures are again! I wish you the best of luck! Try to enjoy life. It is very easy to be stressed. Take a deep breathe and live in the moment! :)
Truly blessed to have incredible creatures, wonderful friends and my amazing family in my life!! I'm very thankful & grateful for all of them! www.thehealthyhermit.com

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shanedaman112
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by shanedaman112 » Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:29 am

Well right now I don't really have motivation problems, it's just some nights I'm so so tired and wanna sleep.. And I know 3 days is acceptable to a point but you're right they are beautiful animals :D I could always care for them mid day instead of night.

Galaxy s3 via tapatalk
2 small PPs: Leonardo, Biscuit
3 medium to large PPs: Kermit Rocketson, Lulu, Strawberry (named because he is red, not actually a straw)
1 Neon Tetra: Stevie. 1 Crawfish: Larry
R.I.P. Larry, Crabby, and Hermie (all PPs) O'mally (Neon Tetra) John Cena(Crawfish)

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Crabinski
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by Crabinski » Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:50 am

Shane, we all go through periods like this, whether due to physical health issues, bouts of depression, stress at school or work. I have severe arthritis which limits my mobility and have pain 24/7. There are many days when I just can't deal with anything due to pain, when even getting dressed takes forever and those are the days when my animals are given short-shrift. I'm having a string of days like that right now so the mouse's tank is a day or two past due for a deep clean, the dog's dishes haven't been scrubbed out because I can't bend down to get them and the water level is down in the crabs' pools. So far, today hasn't been too bad so I'm seizing the window of opportunity to clean the mouse tank, somehow reach those bowls for a good scrub and deal with the pools. I never worry about the crabs' food because they have three bowls: one with leaves, one with a dry mix and the other for fresh foods, the first two are there 24/7. Even if the fresh food gets a little "funky", it doesn't bother them -- in the wild, they'd be scavenging carrion so the funkier the better as far as they're concerned.

Bottom line is don't worry about being a bad or negligent crabber. You've always been an attentive crab parent but life has a way of getting in the way of our best intentions from time to time. The simple fact that you've taken the time to post about your concerns shows that you are not negligent, just a bit overwhelmed at times, just like the rest of us.
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by soilentgringa » Thu Aug 18, 2016 12:10 pm

I have bubblers in my tanks and change the pools out weekly.

Right now I am dealing with undiagnosed nerve issues and severe chronic pain.

The crabs are fed an assortment of foods every few days and I drop eggshells in the tank every couple of days for calcium.

There have been times when I was bedridden and could not do anything with the tanks.

It would appear that benign neglect has not harmed my crabs in the least, lol they're all healthy in general and seem to be fine.


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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by GotButterflies » Thu Aug 18, 2016 12:13 pm

I think everyone can relate to giving themselves a guilt trip! I know I've taken several trips! These past several months my Lupus & Fibromyalgia have hit me hard and I have been couch bound. Up until then my life was on the crazy train of non stop to-do's. Life gave me a reality check and I can't live that way anymore. Don't get me wrong- I have stressors! I just choose to appreciate the things that mean the most to me, and use my energy for them! Shane, try to find things you don't have to do to make your life less stressful, or perhaps have blood work done to make sure everything is okay. It took my doctors almost 6 months before I was diagnosed properly after I had a major flare up. Looking back, I had been suffering for almost 8 years. Best of luck! ;)
Truly blessed to have incredible creatures, wonderful friends and my amazing family in my life!! I'm very thankful & grateful for all of them! www.thehealthyhermit.com

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shanedaman112
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by shanedaman112 » Thu Aug 18, 2016 1:04 pm

Wow I feel alot better now.. @crabinski i dont know how you do it o:
@soilentgringa I thought waiting 2 days even with bubblers brought ammonia buildup? Guess I was wrong. Thank goodness. Anyway huge relief thanks guys >u<

Galaxy s3 via tapatalk
2 small PPs: Leonardo, Biscuit
3 medium to large PPs: Kermit Rocketson, Lulu, Strawberry (named because he is red, not actually a straw)
1 Neon Tetra: Stevie. 1 Crawfish: Larry
R.I.P. Larry, Crabby, and Hermie (all PPs) O'mally (Neon Tetra) John Cena(Crawfish)

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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by soilentgringa » Thu Aug 18, 2016 1:07 pm

shanedaman112 wrote:Wow I feel alot better now.. @crabinski i dont know how you do it o:
@soilentgringa I thought waiting 2 days even with bubblers brought ammonia buildup? Guess I was wrong. Thank goodness. Anyway huge relief thanks guys >u<

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I have at least quart sized pools. I also remember one of the previous admins mentioning that you can even add a couple drops of Prime and topping off the water if you aren't able to do a complete changeout for whatever reason.

The only reason ammonia would be building up in your water is if the crabs were pooping a lot in the pools.

Mine like to poop in the shells, mainly, lol.

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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by shanedaman112 » Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:53 pm

Mine poop in the pools once or twice a day xD and I have nearly half gallon pools and my sw pool has a 5-10 gal pump with a 1000 gal bubbler ._.

Galaxy s3 via tapatalk
2 small PPs: Leonardo, Biscuit
3 medium to large PPs: Kermit Rocketson, Lulu, Strawberry (named because he is red, not actually a straw)
1 Neon Tetra: Stevie. 1 Crawfish: Larry
R.I.P. Larry, Crabby, and Hermie (all PPs) O'mally (Neon Tetra) John Cena(Crawfish)

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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by aussieJJDude » Fri Aug 19, 2016 3:44 am

Prime does mention on the label to detoxify ammonia, nitrate and nitrite. Unsure with nitrate/nitrite, but I know that ammonia gets converted into ammonium; which is slightly less harmful and can have a "higher build up" without the negative effects like ammonia would.
So yes, prime is a good way to bring down harmful molecules for a short term; which many people use to start up fish tanks when they find out the pet store was incorrect.
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by PinchersAndShells » Mon Aug 22, 2016 7:44 pm

I know how you feel, even though I haven't had as much experience as others have had, (I've been crabbing for a little over a year now) I had a rough patch where I didn't feel so great and couldn't motivate myself to take care of my crabs. Usually I would procrastinate and change what needed to the next day, or make my siblings do it. I've been telling myself when I'm not doing so great, that I can do it, even if I can't do it for myself, then I should do it because my crabs depend on me. I don't know if this would help you, but it works for me.
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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by hprmom » Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:06 pm

What Crabinski said. And if this is a constant thing for you, I encourage you to get yourself checked out as GotButterflies suggested, medically/emotionally/mentally, and don't be afraid to get help. When I was depressed I found it hard to keep myself fed and showered, much less look after the dog. Then when my son was three, I was constantly tired and doc thought I had adrenal fatigue (it turned out to be lack of REM sleep). Severe allergies was another thing that kept me down. So don't be afraid or ashamed to check things out, there may be a solution that will help you get your energy and motivation back that you just don't know about yet.

As to crab care, I'm appreciating what everyone is saying on this thread! When I had tiny bowls in a 10g tank I was diligent about changing food and water daily. But now that they're in a 65g with bigger water sources and room for two food dishes, and I've built up a supply of dry foods that don't mold daily, I realized that I can relax about it! Sometimes I just scoop out the moldy bits and drop in a fresh protein or calcium, and they're good to go for a couple more days.

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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by shanedaman112 » Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:17 pm

hprmom wrote:What Crabinski said. And if this is a constant thing for you, I encourage you to get yourself checked out as GotButterflies suggested, medically/emotionally/mentally, and don't be afraid to get help. When I was depressed I found it hard to keep myself fed and showered, much less look after the dog. Then when my son was three, I was constantly tired and doc thought I had adrenal fatigue (it turned out to be lack of REM sleep). Severe allergies was another thing that kept me down. So don't be afraid or ashamed to check things out, there may be a solution that will help you get your energy and motivation back that you just don't know about yet.

As to crab care, I'm appreciating what everyone is saying on this thread! When I had tiny bowls in a 10g tank I was diligent about changing food and water daily. But now that they're in a 65g with bigger water sources and room for two food dishes, and I've built up a supply of dry foods that don't mold daily, I realized that I can relax about it! Sometimes I just scoop out the moldy bits and drop in a fresh protein or calcium, and they're good to go for a couple more days.
I don't see the need to get myself checked out because that was a year ago and I feel better now :) thanks though everyone!

Galaxy s3 via tapatalk
2 small PPs: Leonardo, Biscuit
3 medium to large PPs: Kermit Rocketson, Lulu, Strawberry (named because he is red, not actually a straw)
1 Neon Tetra: Stevie. 1 Crawfish: Larry
R.I.P. Larry, Crabby, and Hermie (all PPs) O'mally (Neon Tetra) John Cena(Crawfish)

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Re: At what point does it become neglect?

Post by isadoraisacat » Tue Aug 30, 2016 8:17 pm

bbcraft22 wrote:I don't really know the question. Can you tell me the question? Maybe I will be able to answer.
they are pretty much asking how many times a day or week one should go ahead and replace their water and food and do a little spot clean imagine. In my case i replace the food every morning and my water pools are cleaned and replaced 2 times per week unless really soiled. I would say try to up keep as much as possible especially with food changes it can lead to mites and mold. Fresh food and water is def important.

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