Artemis, Day 14 carrying eggs

[GotButterflies]

You are doing great mlakers!!! Keep up the excellent work!! I LOVE THE VIDEO!! It is so cute how they float, flip...I love all the moves they make!! I'm only 15 days behind you now!! LOL!!!

[mlakers]

Thank you. Honestly, I feel like I'm hitting the doldrums (that spot in the ocean where there's no wind to give you sail). Not sure what I'm doing wrong, what I'm not giving them, what they are missing, or if I even have it in me to continue trying without losing my mind. I'm really stressing out stupidly these past few days. I can't seem to relax knowing that something isn't quite right.

They are losing their orange coloration and I don't know if they've stopped eating something important, if I can substitute with something else, if it even matters. (I feel like it has to matter that they are paler.) But most of the dead ones I'm seeing ARE bright orange, so is THAT what's killing them? Gah. I just don't know, and being comfortable with not knowing isn't my strong suit.

Also I think I'm seeing a lot more deaths since I moved them to the big round container and I don't know if that's something about air flow, or debris (it collects on the sloping sides instead of only on the bottom now), or my water changes, or just the particular developmental stage they are in. I don't know if I should adjust something in the goldfish bowl or put the remaining survivors back in the mason jars... I keep trying different things but then I think THAT has to be stressful for the zoeae...

It's also been much warmer here and I've had to readjust the heater downward and stop using the lights that were adding warmth. I have a cool "rainforest" bulb above them now but am also trying to figure out how to move my adult crabs' UVB light over there in a way that will be stable.

I had a substantial meltdown over all this last night and a smaller one today, too. It's really so easy to say at the start of this that, "I'll just give it a go and see what happens," but when you're nineteen days in and all of your hard work and hopes suddenly start to go south and the adorable little critters in your care are dying, well, it's not that easy to just say, "Whatever happens will be okay."

[Happyhermiehome]

[quote="mlakers"]Thank you. Honestly, I feel like I'm hitting the doldrums (that spot in the ocean where there's no wind to give you sail). Not sure what I'm doing wrong, what I'm not giving them, what they are missing, or if I even have it in me to continue trying without losing my mind. I'm really stressing out stupidly these past few days. I can't seem to relax knowing that something isn't quite right.

They are losing their orange coloration and I don't know if they've stopped eating something important, if I can substitute with something else, if it even matters. (I feel like it has to matter that they are paler.) But most of the dead ones I'm seeing ARE bright orange, so is THAT what's killing them? Gah. I just don't know, and being comfortable with not knowing isn't my strong suit.

Also I think I'm seeing a lot more deaths since I moved them to the big round container and I don't know if that's something about air flow, or debris (it collects on the sloping sides instead of only on the bottom now), or my water changes, or just the particular developmental stage they are in. I don't know if I should adjust something in the goldfish bowl or put the remaining survivors back in the mason jars... I keep trying different things but then I think THAT has to be stressful for the zoeae...

It's also been much warmer here and I've had to readjust the heater downward and stop using the lights that were adding warmth. I have a cool "rainforest" bulb above them now but am also trying to figure out how to move my adult crabs' UVB light over there in a way that will be stable.

I had a substantial meltdown over all this last night and a smaller one today, too. It's really so easy to say at the start of this that, "I'll just give it a go and see what happens," but when you're nineteen days in and all of your hard work and hopes suddenly start to go south and the adorable little critters in your care are dying, well, it's not that easy to just say, "Whatever happens will be okay." :cry







sending u vitural hugs

[mlakers]

Thank you. Every hug is appreciated.

Gotbutterflies has been helping me figure out how to improve water conditions in the fishbowl to make things better for the babies and overall easier for me. I'm feeling some optimism start to creep back in.

[ROSIEonFIRE]

Keep it up. From wgat ive heard raising hermit crabs to adulthood in captivity is nearly impossible. Youre giving them the best chance anyone possibly could.

[aprilmay]

hang in there! we are all rooting for you! sending virtual hugs!
all of you are my heros!

[KayedeeLove<3]

How's everything mlakers?

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[mlakers]

Day Twenty-two.

Catastrophic losses on Friday. My fault. Just panicked and tried too many things, hoping to "fix" what was already working. My attempts included a rather major and unorthodox change that didn't quite "feel right" but I kept going forward with it on faith that it would work. It didn't.

I should have listened to my gut instead of seeking advice and reassurance elsewhere. Like I used to counsel new breastfeeding moms, "They're your babies. I can suggest things that might work, but you've known them since birth. Trust your instincts." I should have trusted my instincts, but after three weeks of agonizing and changing water and fretting over food and buying new this-and-that to try, I just got overwhelmed and wanted to be told what to do instead of continuing to feel my way forward and "listen to" the babies.

I tried hard to save what I could once I saw how badly south the experiment was going, and found twelve (out of 185) that still had some movement. I put them in a 5 gallon saltwater palace (compared to their previous tiny jar), but it was simply too late for most of them at that point. I couldn't see any movement after a few minutes and completely lost it. I was heartbroken and inconsolable for a good little while.

Then my husband, who has been helplessly watching me implode over the past 21 days, kindly suggested that we leave home for the weekend and try to forget the heartbreak.

So I got conditions in the 5-gallon tank perfect, just in case, set things on timers, added some sinking food, and a sprinkle of brine shrimp eggs, then went away for two nights to try to forgive myself and stop focusing on what went wrong instead of what went right.

Didn't know what I would find on my return, figured it would be zilch, nada, nothing, but I have confirmed that two are still alive and kicking. There may be more, but I'm not counting on it. And if they are there, I can't pick them out among the live sand substrate that I used and since they are moving, I would worry I was double counting. But the two confirmed were on opposite sides of the tank and different colors. They have gut tracks, so they've been finding the food in that great expanse of water. I will try to remember that if/when I get another chance. They find the food. Don't overfeed.

[Giner13]

Oh you are doing so good mlakers!! It's gotta be tough with so many babies. Big HUGS!!!


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[mlakers]

Also, @kuza, the shells arrived! They are awesome. So perfect and sorted and wonderful. Thank you! Please PM me what I owe you. I did see the shipping label, but with the exchange rate and the added value of your time, I wanted to make sure I got the number right. I obviously won't need them all this time, but I'm happy to keep them for future tries and for other members who give this a shot. I can start a "shell library" for those adventurous souls who give this monumental task a shot.

[aprilmay]

mlakers, sending many virtual hugs your way.
What you are attempting is really really hard.
looking back on all the breeding threads here, no one was able to succeed on the first try so far. and as hardcore and disciplined as curlz, she was only able to succeed on her 4th try, and then failed 6 more times, not see another baby crab till her 11th try...
doesn't seem there are any set rules on what can work, everyone has to go through his/her own trial and error and find his/her own way. kinda like the zoeae themselves.

i really liked your initial idea of imitating ocean condition for your zoeae based on your own knowledge/experience with the ocean. you will probably have to go with your guts and do what feels right. But given how high the emotional price has been, i kept on thinking of what Nat did on her 2nd try, stay detached as much as possible. funny you thought of breastfeeding moms. i remember one of my friends' advice when i was nursing, "happy mom happy babies."

Take care of yourself first! stay happy and healthy!

and thank you for sharing these experiences with us!

[mlakers]

Update: there are SIX hardy crab souls still alive and flopping. 300% better.

[mjjluver]

Thank you for the update. I'm glad you got to get away. Hope you're doing better now. *hugs*

[ROSIEonFIRE]

Update: there are SIX hardy crab souls still alive and flopping. 300% better.

Woot woot!!! *fist pump*

And dont worry about the losses, i bet you anything youll end up with another chance at all this SOMEDAY and when that happens you will be SO ready and in charge. I pray that my crabs never surprise me with a few thousand presents bc i really dont think i could keep up with all the things youve done for them.

[Artistmom81]

She's just a lovely crab if I may say so myself! What an amazing home!