Possible murder attempt?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:05 am

Okay, so this morning my mom came into my room while I was sleep, and wakes me up when she dropped my lid onto my tank.. She said "oh, sorry, I just wanted to look at them" then left for work.. I have no idea what she was doing when the lid was off..

About 10 minutes ago, I was feeding my fish and my crew, when I look down and see a shell in my 20L.. (It has substrate, but no food, no water, no guages, etc) At first I didn't think anything of it.. but then I was like "How did a shell get in there?" So I pick it up and put it back into my shell drawer.. I'm watching my fish eat, when I hear this scratching coming from the drawer. I open it, and low and behold, that shell that was in the 20L was my ruggie!!!

Could my mother have put him in there, simply to kill it, or make me look like a bad owner? She always says "there's no way there are 9 crabs in there, are you sure they can't get out?"

I always assure her they are there, and just hiding or dug down or whatever.. I would hate to think this true; my own mother trying to sabotage my crabbing.. Maybe I should confront her about it? ..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:07 pm

That's bizarre Quistgard!! I would definitely have a sit down w/Mommy Dearest! Has she ever complained about them or anything to indicate disapproval? Has she ever shown interest in them before, like randomly coming in to "look at them"? This is very interesting. KUP- I wanna see how this plays out!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:32 pm

WOW! That is weird! Definately discuss this with your mother. Explain to her how important your hermits are to you. Since you are the one taking care of them, she doesn't need to do anything.

Are you sure that the ruggie hadn't escaped from your other tank, and when your mom saw the shell, she assumed that it was empty & just put it into your empty tank? And why would she be "looking at them" in the empty tank, and not your exsisting tank?

Let us know what happens after your talk.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:40 pm

geez that's weird, maybe the ruggie was hanging on the lid of the tank and fell off and startled your mom and that's why she dropped the lid? I really hope your mom wouldn't try to kill your crabs on purpose, although I can say from experience that parents can do some pretty mean things to their kids out of selfishness.

MushroomKitty · Post by **MushroomKitty** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:59 pm

I would definately confront her if I where you, and see what her deal is. If she's trying to murder your crabs, maybe you should sugjest to her how she would like it if you tried to murder one of her beloved pets or children. She wouldn't like it, I'm assuming.

If that's the case I seriously sugjest moving out if you can, or do something to make sure your crabs will be safe with her around. I can't imagine a mother wanting to kill her child's pets (Especially because my parents ADORE the hermit crabs) but then agian, there are people out there who don't have any respect for life other than a humans.

I really hope she has a decent excuse as to why that happened.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:01 am

She said that she did it, because she hates that I pay more attention to them than I do to her, when she barely says "hi" to me outside of work (we work together)

Apparently she feels like I don't appreciate her, even though I cook for her, and do her laundry, and wash her dishes....

I'm currently going a couple things that she totally disapproves of, and that I'm not overly proud of either, so every chance she gets, she reminds me of what a big mistake I made, and how much it can affect me later on.. Once this is all taken care of (hopefully within a month) I am going to try to talk to my girlfriend's family about either me staying with them for a while, or me and her getting our own apartment..

A little more of our history: my mother has always been emotionally abusive, so this is nothing new. She makes me depressed, and suicidal many times in the past (hence why I wanted to give away all my stuff about a month ago..)

Anyway.. I told her to just leave them alone, that they haven't done anything to her, and she got all offended and stormed off to her boyfriend's house..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:22 am

Wow Dude! Not quite the drama I was expecting. Yeah, you should talk to your Girlfriends parents ASAP. Your Mom sounds alot like the care giving adults of my youth.

If you EVER need to unload, you PM me, whenever! People can only make us feel as crappy as we LET them make us feel. We have more control over that stuff than we think. You need to find your control, take it, own it and use it. You'll thank yourself for it later. I promise. Hugs to you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:55 am

No offense to you, but your mom sounds very immature...I'm sorry you have to deal with such emotional issues. she sounds like she has abandonment issues. if you can move out that would defintely be the best thing for you and your pets. there are 20L and 40 breeder tanks at petsmart that have locking lids... u can actually put a key lock or combination lock on it...keeps curious kids and parents away.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 3:06 am

Wow I've heard of parents doing some really weird stuff, but that is pretty up there.

Making a crab suffer for her own issues? I definitely think you need to get out of there ASAP if you have tried every other option possible.

My mom would use the animals to torture us

. You know, waking you up by putting a hyper hamster on your bare belly, or letting the dog lick peanut butter off your belly or toes... but never anything hurtful.

MushroomKitty · Post by **MushroomKitty** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 3:52 am

Oh my god. If I wasn't afraid to break the TOC, I would so use profanities right now. But, as it stands, I can't. I will say that your mom has serious issues and needs to be sent to a shrink.

If you can't move in with your girlfriend, at least ask her to take care of your crabs untill you can get away from your mom. Even though you told her not to, if she's that phyco she'll probably try to hurt them agian. And do something more drastic too.

I seriously wish you the best of luck getting as far away from her as you possibly can. And I pray for your hermies saftey.

I sware the imaturity of some people is just pathetic.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:21 am

That's truly unfortunate quist

I know what it's like to grow up with a selfish, immature mother and it's not fun at all. The best thing that happened to me was moving 2300 km away to go to university. I got out from under her control and got a lot more perspective on things. It also made her appreciate me a little (very little) bit more. Our relationship has also gotten better b/c the distance allows me to do things like tell her how much junk she put me through as a kid and when she gets defensive to hang up the phone. We went from barely talking to eachother to chatting a couple of times a month. Although I will admit that when hard times hit... like me not having a job since September... that she gets controlling again. Distance may be exactly the cure to a lot of your and your mom's issues with eachother. When I moved out my parents ate take out 5 nights a week and ate the leftovers the other 2 nights b/c they were used to me cooking every night for them. Then they couldn't figure out why they never had any money, so they gained some appreciation for me there. Also Mom figured out that the house simply didn't clean itself when I was living there.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:35 pm

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Just because your mom doesn't approve of things you've done in the past is no reason to take it out on you nor helpless animals. What have your girlfriends parents said about you living with them? Is it possible that until you get your living situation straightened out that you could find a crabber in your area and have your crabs stay with them for a while? If you lived anywhere near Chapel Hill NC I could watch them for you for a while but is there anyone in your area who can? I hope you can find a new place soon

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:59 am

well, my girlfriend's mom is a surgeon in Syracuse, and her dad is a Private Investigator, so he travels quite a bit, but is trying to limit his cases to NYS. My girlfriend herself was working at a Borders kiosk in a watertown mall, but they just promoted her to a full-time in-store clerk, which doubled her paycheck

Her mom wants to move down to either Syracuse or Binghampton, so she's closer to her job, but my gf obviously doesn't want to leave a really good paying, easy job, along with having to drive like 1:20 just to see her boyfriend, so maybe when her mom decides to move, we can either keep the place that she is in now, or get a place in Watertown

We'll just have to see what happens, I guess.. I'm going over to spend most of the night with her and her family tonight, so maybe I'll mention it to them