My dad is dieing of cancer only has a few days.

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Tue Jun 03, 2014 1:35 am

I'm not going to be back on for a while because my dad was just diagnosed Saturday night with cancer on one kidney, both lungs and in all of his bones.They also found a tumor on his hip and one on the back of his brain.The whole thing started on his kidney which is a totally random kind of cancer that just hits with no warning signs and can be caused by exposure to to many things to be sure what caused his.He was mentally confused because the kidney cancer was throwing off calcium back into the body and he'd built up such a level of it that it was considered toxic and was effecting his cognition so the doctors got him back to a more normal state of mind so he could at least talk with us before he goes so the whole family has been hanging around him as much as possible because he needs his rest to.The Oncologist looked at his x-rays and ct scans from the hospital and said that the cancer was so far spread that it was inoperable and that it was at the point that he only has a few days left.We chose to move him back to the house on home hospice so we can take care of him till he goes and truthfully its made this whole ordeal easier on him and us. This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through but I'll make it through it and come out stronger than I was going into it.Love you dad.....

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Tue Jun 03, 2014 1:47 am

We had no idea he was so sick until Sat when we had to send him to the hospital because he was hallucinating so bad and when he got there the doctor started ordering a bunch of scans, tests and x-rays to be done and after an hour of him being put through the ringer the doctor came back with the news and we all broke down and started crying.This explains why he'd been the way he had for so long he was getting increasingly confused over the last two or three years and was having trouble getting to his delivery location when he was doing over the road trucking, he would get to where he was supposed to go and then get lost because he would forget where he was at but he wasn't telling us that his bosses finally stepped up and said something and we believe that was why they let him go because he'd call dispatch *******g out not knowing where he was or where to go.We've all felt so bad for thinking he didn't want to work when he really couldn't, the doctor said the amount of pain he'd been in for a while was excruciating but because he has degenerative disk disease in his back we thought that was where the pain was coming from but that condition was masking the real issue and hid it till it was too late.He's had to do DOT physicals every four years and just did one last year and they found nothing in his blood work to suggest that he was sick with cancer which the er doctor said wasn't odd as this kind of cancer likes to hide behind other illnesses.

Geranium · Post by **Geranium** » Tue Jun 03, 2014 2:19 am

I am so sorry that you all are going through this. Know that we will hold you and your family in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time and in the adjustment that follows.

Tongue Flicker · Post by **Tongue Flicker** » Tue Jun 03, 2014 6:34 pm

It was probably a blood related cancer if it is eveywhere as blood gets circulated, the cancer cells are too. Prayers to your dad. Hope he does well in the times to come!

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:51 pm

He's getting worse his breathing is becoming more labored and he's having these spells where he feels like he's suffocating but we figured out he's having an allergic reaction to the Morphine drops the hospice doctor gave him which causes him to have extreme shortness of breath and sends him into a panic attack.They had to prescribe him another kind of liquid pain med but that doesn't really have an effect on him so were having to use the never pills they gave him in combination with a new cream that contains three different pain meds in it that has to be absorbed through the skin and once he gets those meds in his system he calms down and goes to sleep for a while.Today marks the third day he's been home from the hospital and its now clear we are way in over our heads as the hospice we chose has not delivered on any of the promises they made to us on Sun.We were supposed to have round the clock care for him ie a nurse and a nurses aid since he's considered a short term life expectancy but we have only seen the nurse twice and it was two different nurses and the nurses aid twice also two different aids instead of seeing them throughout the day like the rep said we would they have just left us high and dry and its more than were capable of dealing with it.Hes easily agitated and combative in addition to being a large man 6foot 200 some odd pounds so he's not easy to deal with especially after 7pm because thats when he starts sundowning and getting really anxious on top of being agitated which makes him restless.We are giving him the medications hes been prescribed at the dosage indicated and hes able to burn through them like he hadn't even gotten them.I don't know how much more of this we can take and I don't know how much longer he's going to last.

Geranium · Post by **Geranium** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 12:08 am

I am so sorry you're going through this. Is there an extended family member or friend or a pastor who can advocate for you with the hospice folks? You all need an incredible amount of support right now. Praying for strength and guidance for all of you right now. Hold your Mom extra close, you need each other even more now.

jenok · Post by **jenok** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:17 am

This makes me cry all over again. I am sooooo sorry for you and your family right now. We quite literarily just went thru this with my aunt and buried her Monday 6/2/14. She to seemed fine for the most part, off and on sickness for the last couple years but she was around seventy and smoke and drank most of her life. My cousin/her daughter moved in with her last year to help with the upkeep of the house and to keep an eye on her. My cousin had unexpected surgery removing her gull bladder and part of her colon. She just came home and had to take my aunt to the hospital thinking she had pneumonia. X-rays revealed something else and an autopsy showed cancer in her lung that spread to her liver. She was given 2-3 days to live and they took her home. It was a constant mess trying to get the meds just right to help keep her semi comfortable. She couldn't talk she got so short of breath and hurt. Very difficult to handle when something like this happens. My family's thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours. Just remember there's a much better place waiting for him. A few days is better than having to stay in a bed and slowly deteriorate over several years.

Laurie LeAnn · Post by **Laurie LeAnn** » Fri Jun 06, 2014 4:14 pm

You must have a crappy hospice team! Hospices are there to make to transition from life to passing easier not painful in anyway. Gramps had oxygen through tubes up to his nose at least to get some air and he was drugged up so much that when he did pass he wasn't aware of the pain , he had a smile on his face.. we were all in the room talking about him and all the things we did to him , practical jokes, shooting b.b. guns in his cement basement etc..I think he knew we were there..My friends mom had hospice to and they kept her so comfy and did anything and EVERYTHING to make her mom's passing go smoothly, if your supposed to have a nurse there so many hours then you make calls and get it, you complain..He has suffered in silence long enough, he deserves to be TREATED with respect and taken care of with dignity..You be strong and the rock

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:37 am

He passed yesterday around 10 O'clock in the afternoon he was in congestive heart failure so you know what that means he built up enough fluids to stop his heart.We believe that the kidney cancer spread over the last few days to his prostate which resulted in a massive blockage cutting off his urine flow which started backing up into the rest of his body, cancer has to be one of the worst ways to go I can imagine and I don't ever want to have to see someone else pass this way.We're going to the Disabled Veterans Office in a couple of days to get some kind of legal action because my dad served in the Navy from the late 70's to the early 80's in the Pacific ocean cleaning up radio active islands like Bikini Atoll and Enewetak and he told us when they were sent from the ship to these islands that they would be exposed to radiation which could result in them being sterile, having children with birth defects or dieing from cancer and then made them go anyway.He said that they had to wear badges that were sensitive to the radiation and when they were glowing they had to go back to the ship and let the level of radiation subside in their bodies and then they would be sent right back.Seriously we tested hydrogen and atom bombs which ruined these atolls and then years later sent our guys back to clean the mess up when it still wasn't safe so that the locals could have these islands back, who in their right mind came up with this plan anyway they had to be dumb as a bag of rocks....We could have left those test sites alone until the radiation levels were much much lower and it would have been way safer on our guys but no our boys got sacrificed, my dad got poisoned because of a stupid decision somebody high up decided to make years ago...... I'm so far beyond angry, hurt and sad at this point that I want to see someone pay now for doing what they did to my dad back then..

Geranium · Post by **Geranium** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 6:36 am

I am so sorry you all had to go through this passing in such a horrific manner. I wish I could offer more than prayers but you've got our prayers in this difficult time that you may find peace and guidance in your quest for answers and justice. I am so sorry for your loss.

Laurie LeAnn · Post by **Laurie LeAnn** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:06 pm

You just may have answered all your your prayers..I hope you can get legal action taken and if you can prove that him being exposed to that caused you to have issues you might even get more..your medical should all be covered by them to if he was a vet or at least some of them...So sorry for the loss of your dad..some PEOPLE just don't tell others how others are feeling because they are scared of what they will find out or don't want to burden others..

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:25 pm

@Crabber85Sorry to hear that.

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 1:31 pm

Thanks for the condolences, the viewing is set for tomorrow and the service will be held on Tues afternoon, this has to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through because I wanted to help him, stop the pain and make the cancer go away but I couldn't do anything accept be there for him and at the end when he drew his final breath he was surrounded by those who loved him best his wife, children and immediate family.I know he's in a much better place and one day I'll get to see him again.Like Capitan Hook said "Death is a far greater journey still".....Dieing/death doesn't scare me living does because there are so many unknowns when it comes to this mortal life here on earth, pain, anguish, strife and grief are all burdens we bare in this short race of life."Mans life is like a vapor short and full of troubles".After the funeral is over and I can recoup from this three ring circus I've been in for the last two weeks I'll try to get back on here more regularly but until then Happy Crabbing.

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:58 am

My dad got a dishonorable discharge from the Navy because he was brought up on charges of adulterating a superior officers drink but was cleared on possession so they threw him in prison out in Norfolk West Va at the military brig for two years and ruined his life.He had his walking papers and was at the airport getting ready to board his flight from Hawaii to California when they picked him and and brought him up for court marshal based on a monkey court they literally cleared him on the possessions charge but still sent him away.The question has always been how could he have adulterated a drink when he never had anything to put in it?He was used as a scape goat to protect the commission of his superior who was a known partier and was known to use, she had always gotten out of the pee test by using someone else's urine but the Navy finally got her and she lied to cover up her illegal drug use and when she found out my dad had been sent to prison based on her lie she said that she thought they would only slap him on the wrists and send him home...Seriously this is how our enlisted get treated on a regular basis and it makes me sick.Because of this bogus dishonorable discharge he got the lady at the Disabled Veterans office said their hands were tied they couldn't do anything to get any kind of justice for my dad...

Tongue Flicker · Post by **Tongue Flicker** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:57 am

My condolences to you and your family