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[pinkypie]

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[Miko]

i compleatly feel you my ex mother-in-law hated me and we got into a few fist fights, one was on xmas and she was drunk by the time we got to her house from my moms, she was mad because we missed her new grandson, and we was not there 1st thing in the morning, she started to yell at me like it was my falt and my 3year old daughter (at the time) came running up to me and she pushed her out of the way on to the ground, and thats when i lost it...i was lucky no cops was called.... also im going through some stuff with my baby daddy who hit my daughter during one of his visits, and and about to go to court over that as well....im here for you if you wanna talk im on all the time even when im the only one on...an good luck with your court i know you will get what you want out of it

[Geranium]

Thanks for the update. It sounds like you are stepping through the process and have found some support. Keep asking them for help. One step at a time. Thoughts and prayers with you.

[pinkypie]

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[Crabber85]

@pinkypie, I've seen this kind of domestic abuse for most of my child-hood as I grew up next to a family which was torn apart by drug abuse and a lot of other things and it was the wife who was constantly trying hurt, maim, or otherwise kill her husband when he wouldn't give her money to go buy her cocaine.The woman ended up a divorced bitter person by the end because she lost custody of her children and ended up in prison for a few years on top of everything else and whats worse is shes so burned out now from the drugs that she doesn't remember why she's divorced or why her kids now grown adults barely want to have anything to do with her which is sad really.This kind of domestic abuse stems from a pathological need for control even if its over someone else the aggressor will do what it takes to gain and keep said control and this is usually because they have none over their own lives which makes them angry and bitter and the only way that they can express what they are feeling is to hurt those they love or are close to.People like this look for those who they think are weaker thus easier targets to harass and abuse which is why so many high-school couples are having problems with the guy beating on his girlfriend now and the girl just keeps going back to him.I agree you have taken the first steps to dealing with the issue and hopefully you will get the situation resolved quickly and peacefully.

[pinkypie]

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[Miko]

just remember to be fully open whne your talking to them and let your feelings flow. let it all go.also try this out it has helped me not be so depressed and got me out of some dark holes.get a notebook, and every day at the end of the day befor you laydown write down 3 things that was awesome that day and why, make sure you put why.this will make you brain think of the good things of the day and help you sleep better and will help with the depression.i think every one should do this, i got my hubby to voice this (he is visualy impaired so he dont like to write) and i get my daughter to do this as well and it help keep us happy!!

[Crabber85]

I've been dealing with depression in waves it comes and goes because I'm legally blind I can't find work as no one wants to hire me due to the impairment and I usually get the excuse that I'm a work place hazard/danger and that as a consequence I'm not hire-able.I've been out of work since 06' and it has played on my mind something terrible because I'm nearing thirty years old and have basically had to put my entire life on hold.I had plans to be married when I turned 26 and I was supposed to have graduated from Ga Tech in 2007 but none of it happened due to my failing eyesight.Last year in June I was diagnosed with a degenerative condition that effects my eyes and laser surgery wont help since its the muscle groupings that control eye movement that have atrophied causing my eyes to loose shape so they are literally flattening out this alters the shape of the lenses causing the issue I have which is a combination of extreme Astigmatism and muscle degeneration.As a result I qualify for disability but because my state is so hard nosed on disability claims its impossible to get approval without having legal representation.I still live at home due to my disability and as a result of not being able to find work and I constantly deal with the feeling of being worthless because I can't earn any money to help my parents with the bills and I'm constantly being asked why I haven't moved out and what am I planning on doing with my life and I've gotten so tired of explaining my situation to people that I've stopped trying.It sucks having to rely on others for everything especially the things I should be able to provide for myself at this point in my life like a home of my own, food to eat and clothes to wear.So yeah I know what constantly dealing with depression is like and I feel for you Pinky.

[Miko]

i feel for you crabber85 as my hubby is also legally blind he has a rare eye disorder had has never been able to drive but has always made it you cant look at it as a disability even though that is what it is, if you look around on line im sure you could find a work from home job or as on of my moms friends she gets on Clist and ebay and buys thing cheap then truns around and sells it for more.my hubby said to look in to the disablitlys act of 1982.and look into the commission of the blind in your state and they might be able to help and provide the legal help and my put you to work or help you find work

[DragonHeart33]

Pinky I feel for you. I know what it is like to be abused since I grew up with it. I know it is not fun and VERY hard to deal with. My father (though a coward) nearly ran my mother over because he didn't want to live up to his end of the deal. He also later turned and abused me (though he did do sexual things to me when I was three) mentally, physically, emotionally, and yes again sexually (in my opinion, I was asleep than felt someone on top of me but couldn't wake up and so I dreamed it). I also can't have kids and consider animals like children.As for you Crabber, I know first hand what it is like to be disabled and no one wants you. I have a non verbal learning disability (though I do have sometimes, a hard time grasping what people say when reading). I tried to apply everywhere that my skills would allow, and I am still out a job (except for my biscuits). I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers (yes prayers do work, they have saved my life and got me out of an abusive relationship with my father). I wish nothing but the best for both of you. May the Irish Blessing be upon you both (for give me if you don't like the Irish).

[Laurie LeAnn]

remember that sometimes when you go get more meds on top of other meds they do interact w each other..your lack of appetite and other issues can be a result of this w the depression on top of it. don't run to the e.r. every time you feel stressed out learn to deal with your issues instead of popping pills. I live with a person that is also verbally abusive at time and I would say is bipolar in my mind, is a heavy beer drinker thinks he is right and needs to teach the world the right way to it.. HIS WAY! I also get very depressed where I just want to curl up and bawl and I do, I want to run to my dr and say I need pills I am so unhappy I just want to cry all the time..but I have found other things that have made me happy cause I have decided I can't rely on people to make me happy. I have taken making me healthy, I bike ride a lot, walk, listen to my ipod, read, super clean things, crafts, anything that gets my mind off things! so you can do it to..

[Crabber85]

@Miko, I've looked for help and because I live in the south and I'm Caucasian I don't qualify for any kind of help unfortunately you have to be a minority to get the government to give you a break.My vision is 20-40 in my left eye and 20-30 in my right and thats with glasses on and without I'm 20-200 in my left eye and 20-100 in my right.My left eye is partially paralyzed it wont focus so its like a camera going in and out of focus constantly which makes my already bad vision even worse.I've looked into getting help getting a job I went through the state labor department because they have resources for disabled workers and they couldn't even help me because I don't have any particularly useful skills and a non-existent work history.I was told by the program manager that they couldn't help me because I was un-hireable due to not being able to drive and having no usable skills so I was encouraged to try for disability pay and told not to come back.One of the biggest problems with my vision is something called motion induced blurring which basically means as long as I'm sitting still I can see a little bit but if I'm moving I can't see at all everything gets blurred together so badly that I can't tell what street signs say or if the vehicle in the other lane even has someone driving it.Back in 09 I applied for a college grant meant for disabled persons and I failed to get it because of my lack of ethnicity.It would have been a free ride to but alas it never panned out.I've got A.D.D a form of Autism which doesn't help my situation much on top of having mild Dyslexia which makes filling job applications nearly impossible not to mention any other kind of forms or paperwork.I have a relative who is a disability lawyer who will represent me and help me I just have to get together with him.

[finalfantasyxii]

I consider myself a very balanced person but I take medication every day. When I weaned off of it to try and get pregnant I found myself slipping farther and farther from the balanced person I think I am. I exercised, I have a very loving husband and many joyful hobbies. One night I found myself crying in my crab tank for no reason (this was 4 months post weaning off the meds) and decided to go back on. Now I'm back to the person I want to be. I believe in a non-medical approach if at all possible but sometimes diet, exercise, etc. is not enough.

[Miko]

@crabbers my hubby is a white male and that didnt stop him, maybe you sould move to tx, lol, we have an awesome school for the blind and a large blind community, and are willing to help on every thing. might be worth looking into and may help you get out on your own if that is something you wanna do.no blind school should turn you down!! if they do that could be a lawsuit

[Crabber85]

@Miko, thanks for the offer which I will keep in mind but I think I'm going to let my relative handle things and see what he can get done because all I really want is to get on disability and then look into getting a Vespa so I'll have a way around.I've got a severe panic disorder called Agoraphobia when I get into unfamiliar surroundings or if I'm in a large group I begin to hyperventilate and then claustrophobia sets in which makes me so nervous that I nearly pass out.I've had one job doing shipping and receiving and stocking for a chain store and I got into a predicament about 12 feet off the ground.I was up a latter pulling empty boxes from top-stock to get the skew numbers so that I could do an order fill and get the stuff we were out of ordered in and I suddenly blacked out in the middle of dropping an empty to the ground and the next thing I knew was that I was off the latter and in the pegs on the shelf behind me when I came to.That was the first time the second time happened in another department I was again pulling empties and blacked out ending up on the floor and I couldn't remember falling but according to the associate who was catching the empties I just swooned with no warning and fell.I've never been good with heights but that wasn't the problem it was my blood sugar, it kept bottoming out which was causing me to collapse.I did go to the doctor and it turns out its a hereditary condition where my body makes too much of its own insulin causing my blood sugar to stay at dangerously low levels and since sugar is the only thing your brain will use for fuel having and insufficient supply can cause black outs and in some rarer instances coma then death as the brain starves for its fuel and dies.The doctor wanted to put me on a pill for the condition but since I had/have no insurance I couldn't afford the $200 for the prescription so the issue has gone untreated since it was found in 06'.I now have such a problem with it that I can get weak after vacuuming one room of my house which makes doing any heavy/manual labor impossible.I usually end up eating something ultra-sweet and then having to lay down and take a nap for an hour to recover.I've got so much going on physically that moving, going to school or doing much of anything for that matter is life threating.I have to be very careful and make sure to have plenty of sweets on hand when I go on extended trips anywhere like vacation for example otherwise a fun trip can go sour pretty quickly.