Controlling teachers

Crabby Abby · Post by **Crabby Abby** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:07 am

I really need to gripe about something that's getting on my last never. My daughter is a quite capable 7 yr. old in the first grade. Now I understand that children need to be taught to be responsible and self-sufficient but they're taking this control a little too far.In the cafeteria, if you can't open milk for instance, have a friend help. I agree with that but my daughter didn't eat lunch one day because she couldn't rip open a packet on a Taco Lunchable; nor could her friends and you can't get up so she sat hungry with her hand raised the entire period. The supervising teachers told her "we're talking" and motioned for her to put her hand down.Because of this fun New England weather, I like to dress her in layers and laid out a short sleeve shirt with a matching zip sweater. She refused because they're not allowed to wear extra layers in the classroom, they have to remove them and hang it with their coats so she'd be in short sleeves alone.In gym you can't stop to tie your shoes!!!!And when the children run, skip or hop in the classroom, and you know they're going to forget and do it because they're happy and energetic 6 and 7 year olds, they have to go down to the 2nd grade room beneath them and apologize! Not only does that humiliate them, it's probably more annoying to that teacher than their 2 seconds of running was!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:05 am

AAAHHHHHHH I would have thrown a huge fit!!! These School's today are really pushing Parents buttons. I have had the same problems at my Daughters School when she was in K-3rd , In the 3rd grade Angel lost her coat and after School she went to the Office to call me but they said that they were to busy to help her right now and for her to just go on home (in the middle of winter on a snowy day). So when she gets home I asked her way didn't she go to the office and call me? Well, she told me what happened so I called the School and they had the nerve to tell me that they were really busy after School and that they can't help all the kids all of the time.... I threw a huge fit, I was so mad that she never went back to that School.... So I feel your pain, but you have to let them know how you feel.Sandra

jojo7 · Post by **jojo7** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 7:10 am

This is such a sensitive subject for me..i just went through heck and back last school year with my then 8 year old...he went to a Catholic School...the teacher was a Egotiscal Miserable Spinster that got thrills out of making young boys cry(my son was not her first victim and will not be her last)...she has humiliated my son in front of the class, failed him on most of his school subjects (even though he has a very high IQ and did excellent in school until this grade)...He was getting physically ill from fear of this woman!!..he would throw up every morning, in the parking lot at school and even in school...long story short (too late), my cries (or i should say, screams) fell on deaf ears...after approaching the Principal, my Pastor, and even the Archdiose, NOTHING happened!!(seems money is more powerful than a parent, but thats another story)...i was forced into taking my son out of the school where he had many many friends and put him another school...he is so happy where he is now and wishes i sent him there years ago!!...School is a place where children should feel safe...they are so young, they shouldn't be treated like they are in boot camp!!...7 is such a vulnerable age too...Anyway, i'm sure you have spoken up about these conditions your daughter is having to endure...but have you gone to someone higher than the Principal???...the School Board??...i wish you the best and keep us posted...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:06 am

If all else fails, there are two magic words guaranteed to get *someone's* attention: Law Suit. I don't have any kids, but if I did, and discovered they were being treated like you've described, I would probably lose all semblance of calm reason and heads would roll. Goodness knows I lose my temper over less important things.

Kharasmatic · Post by **Kharasmatic** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:41 am

yeah, schools can be evil sometimes. believe me, i know, i'm in school right now. we're not allowed to wear coats during school. and it's freezing. if we get caught with them- detention. how annoying and just for trying to stay warm!!

kitty_LHC · Post by **kitty_LHC** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 10:17 am

Not all teachers are bad!I am fabulous. I know that because my students tell me so everyday. Of course they have to because I make them but I know they mean it.However, I hate my daughter's kinder teacher. Kindergarten is supposed to be the "good" year. She's mean and nasty. Not to my daughter because she's the ideal student--I mean that's actually a goal of hers--but the stories I hear are awful. Yesterday she told a kid to shut up. In kindergarten. She hates that particular kid--she even said nasty things about him in MY parent teacher conference about MY daughter. She told me that he falls asleep all the time and she just lets him sleep so she won't have to deal with him. As a teacher I fond that not only an unprofessinal statement to make in a conference but immoral. To make it worse this kid is a refugee from New Orleans. Like he doesn't have enough bad things in his life. And he's absolutely charming--just a bit hyper.She also refuses to let the kids eat snack if they are not good that day. The whole class! Which I know is illegal in a daycare I can't imagine it being legal in kinder. And she told a friend of mine who has a daughter in the same class that she would benefit from Ritalin. I know that is illegal--teachers can suggest medication to treat behavior issues. And what is her issue--she talks too much!!! She's 5!!!Anyway, I think it's stupid that students can't wear coats or anything else they need to stay warm. However, don't give teachers too hard a time--I think if you saw what we really had to put up with you'd have a better understanding of why there are so many seemingly ridiculous rules. I had to call security once because a student was obviously high. It turned out that she not only took some drugs but overdosed and almost died. After she was removed from class I was still expected to teach Shakespeare. Try getting students minds on task when they just witnessed a classmate foaming at the mouth and bablling incoherently. She got the drugs from another student on campus. Though we have drug dogs visit frequently we can't catch everything. Perhaps the no coat thing is to eliminate one more hiding place to make the school safer. I don't know--that's the only thing I can think of. We also have a huge gang population here. A lot of clothes are not allowed due to this. Who knows? I can't justify letting a kid be cold though.

Willow · Post by **Willow** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:34 am

My brother's kindergarten teacher was evil. She used to scream at them, call them little brats, and tell them to shut up---regularly. If a parent complained, she would say "Are you going to believe a 5 year old?" His 1st grade teacher was a real sweetie, though. My 3rd grade teacher was very nice, but my 4th grade teacher was also a screamer. She liked to punish the whole class for something one kid did, which absolutely drove me crazy. This was in a DODDS (for military dependents) school, supposedly they had very high standards for teachers. I can't imagine what it's like in a typical, under-funded public school.I would never send my kids (if I ever have any)to public school. If cicumstances required it, it would make me absolutely crazy. I would home-school if I could, if not, I would try my hardest to send them to a good private school (NOT Catholic school, LOL. I've heard too many stories about evil nuns).

jojo7 · Post by **jojo7** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:21 am

I'm sorry Kitty if we are coming off as if ALL teachers are bad...as a matter of fact, my son's teachers were excellent until his 3rd grade experience...i have nothing but the highest respect for Teachers!...my very close friend is a special Ed teacher and my 3 cousins are Teachers...its just sad that there is a number of Teachers out there that are just not nice!...ones like we are talking about for instance...and the sad thing is that these are the Teachers that are paving such a negative path of how these children are going to feel towards their future school years...luckily my son's new Teacher this year is a very nurturing, loving, and kind woman!!...He had regained his self-esteem, confidence, and spirit because of her...and because of that, i will (and i'm sure my son also), will never forget her!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 7:41 am

There will always be at least one teacher in people's lives like that. Mine was in 1st grade. Won't go into that one though.My mom is a teacher and most of her kids like her. Of course, she is a high school teacher, seems like the really mean ones are in elementary, ya know?I just think that there are plenty of alright teachers out there, horrible teachers and fantastic teachers, and we will all have to deal with all 3 at some point.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 5:29 pm

As a teacher and a parent, I truly see where everyone is coming from here. When my oldest was in Kdg., I pulled him out of the Catholic school he was attending. This was due to many reasons, but the final straw was when his teacher decorated a desk like a dog house and made him sit in it in front of the rest of the class in order to punish him for talking. Needless to say, I was furious!! Zane now attends public school and is having a wonderful experience.I care deeply about my students, and I work very hard to build trusting relationships with them and their parents. My students oftentimes come to me instead of the guidance counselors because they trust me and are comfortable with me. Tonight, one of my kids called me after she'd been suspended just to tell me not to worry and to let me know she was okay. I had another student tell me that I was the "mom" of the school. I have taken some grief from school administrators for being too accommodating to the kids (I let them keep things in my room when they have trouble with lockers, I encourage discussion as opposed to silence, etc.). I've had major confrontations at times with fellow teachers re: the way they treat some of my students (most of my students are of the nonconforming variety).But, in our defense, teachers are under an enormous amount of pressure to meet the requirements of No Child Left Behind, implemented with shoe string budgets and high stakes testing. My nights are often spent planning and grading. My summers are spent taking graduate classes and participating in staff development. I teach in the lowest paid county in the state of Maryland, with little resources. It is nothing for me to spend, out of my own pocket, $1000.00 a year on materials.I'm sorry to go on a tangent, but this is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I don't know if things will get any better in this current political climate of standards and assessment. Our children are put under so much pressure to conform to expectations that are often developmentally inappropriate, and teachers are expected to teach to such standards knowing that they are completely unrealistic and sometimes emotionally damaging to children.

KittyCaller · Post by **KittyCaller** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:56 pm

When I was in public school I had a pretty wide mixture of great teachers, fair teachers and clearly burned out teachers. My kindergarten teacher was really great and would let me read if I didn't feel like talking to anyone. On the other hand, one of my 6th grade teachers - who still ticks me off if I think about him - was just an irritating beaurocrat. He really liked power, but didn't have much, so he resorted to bossing around the school librarian. (You can imagine how obnoxious he was towards his students) Most of my teachers were really very good, and it wasn't because of them that I decided to homeschool for highschool. I have respect for talented teachers (especially those teaching junior high; I don't think I could handle that job) but it really stinks how much a bad one can impact a kid. Sometimes I wonder if they realize how much damage they can cause.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:18 am

I know that i don't do alot of posting but this one got to me.The school that my son goes to ,he's in 4th grade is really good for all that they have to put up with. they try to work thing out with the kids,but.... some of these kids Just don't care.(the school goes from k-5).Alot of the kids come from low or no income famileies and such there is alot of gang and drungs where these kids live. I know of 1 gril who has lost her brother to a drive by shooting and the kids are so mean to her. The reason I know all this is because i work a a lunchroom staff. I HELP the kids open there milk or lunches when the can not. But I know that some of these kids are really bad I just wonder what is going to happen to them????Some of them just don't care what they say to you I know that alot of it is the parents falt and the inviroment that they live in. Last week I had 3 fights out on the playground in one day. We only have 4 adults out with like 150 Kids how can we watch all of them at once?? One boy really got beat up bad and when I did see It I almost got hit also when i got between them.But as for the people that DO NOT OPEN THINGS FOR KIDS ARE WRONG. I don't care if they are talking you stop and help the kids. we talk in the luchroom but if a child raises there hand I stop to help them

JojoA · Post by **JojoA** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:12 pm

Your state also has a Board of Education. Threaten to take the case there if the administration doesn't do anything. That is just like a lawsuit, but even scarier for the school. Its kind of like opening that big can of worms if they have some poor teachers. But there is a protocol you have to follow; talk to the teacher, then the principal, then the superintendent. If that doesn't produce results you need to go to the school board, and then if you are still not satisfied, you can go to the State Board of Education. We had this happen in our school, a parent whose child was being harrassed by a teacher took it to court. but since the girl had already graduated by the time her parents took it to court, the teacher never got fired. The teacher was a female, it was not sexual in nature, I think it was jealousy. But they did resolve some issues and the newspapers had a hayday with the stories. Good luck with your daughter. I hope she finds someone with a little compassion there.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:38 pm

I hate local schools period, and the teachers (Although I'm sure there are some good teachers out there) The local school district here is terrible. I hated groing up here. The nurse at my elementray school was nosy she was always putting her nose where it didn't belong. And then when I told her something I shouldn't have she'd talk to my dad and I'd get in trouble for answering her stupid questions. And my teacher in the fourth grade had favorites I wasn't one of them and he was always making fun of me and getting me in trouble, my 7th grade math teacher called me pathetic in fornt of the entire class, there was perverts working at that middle school to add to it. my highschool wasn't much better, although I'll admit that there were good teachers there.... ABout 3. One was my math teacher he was awesome, another was my English teach she was mean as heck, but she still talks to me when she sees me and she was the one I went to when I finally decided to get my GED which I'm not proud of but oh well, and my science teacher was good too.... Other than that the teachers $ucked.

NewCrabber · Post by **NewCrabber** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 7:45 pm

I'm not happy to read any of these stories because it frustrates me and it doesn't help to know others are going though similar situations, but at least I know it's not me. It's just utterly ridiculous that these things happen at all. An hour before reporting to homeroom, my boys take a tennis class at school a few days a week. One of my boys told me after a recent lesson, he wanted to grab a muffin and juice from the cafeteria. He dropped off his binder, racket and balls at his homeroom class so he wouldn't have his hands so full (the students are allowed to bring breakfast back to their homeroom classes if they choose). When he arrived at the cafeteria, someone, he didn't know who she was (not cafeteria staff), asked where he had come from. He told her, explaining why he had dropped his things off and she told him he couldn't do that and ordered him to leave. I can't wait to hear what the reason is for this!I'm in the process of gearing up to take on the transportation department next week. The bus driver, according to what my kids and others have told me, is not fit to work on a job that involves kids. I've been complaining about her for several months now. There are many complaints, but among the worst is that the kids tell me they have seen her talking on her cell phone while driving. One boy told me he told her she shouldn't do that and her reply was, "Be quiet and mind your own business." Of course, it's her word against that of a 13 year old and she has obviously explained her way out of it (a polite way of saying she lied through her teeth). Another is after yelling at a group of kids on the bus, she promptly went back to her seat, sat down and hit her rear view mirror with the butt of her hand breaking it. There is a lot more going on, but those two things by themselves, as far as I am concerned, warrant more of an investigation and attention than the situation is getting. I was told there would be a camera placed on her bus three weeks ago, there is still no camera on that bus. The supervisor told me we are the only parents who have complained about the driver. WELL, Friday evening I was told that she and the driver are friends (I don't know if that is true or not)and that there had been a complaint by another parent (I do know this is true) two weeks prior to her saying I'm the only one, and she is the one who handled that complaint! There is an alternative school right next to the middle school my boys attend and she picks up and drops off students from that school. One afternoon, she pulled up in front of the school to pick up a kid, stopped the bus and then just took off leaving the kid behind. Under other circumstances I would probably assume she didn't see him somehow, but a friend of my boys who is here as much as he is at home told me two months ago she did this to him one morning. He told his Mom, but she assumed what I would have and didn't do anything. Since I began complaining, she has set her sites on one of my boys, too. He got into an argument with another kid on the bus after the kid intentionally tripped him. She had the other kid write out the same sentence 50 times and told my son to write it 3,000 times. When he refused, she had him suspended from the bus TWO WEEKS later. And that is only the beginning, there is much more. OH, I know this is getting long, but I have to tell you this, some of you Mom's might get the laugh out of it that I did. The last conversation I had with the supervisor is when she called to tell me that the bus driver was complaining that my son was passing gas on the bus and it was really bad. I think we have spoken at length so many times that she knows my kids don't get away with much, so maybe she thought I lost it when I laughed out loud hearing that and when I told her that it's a natural bodily function and if the driver thinks he is doing it at will, he must be pretty talented. I also told her the bus driver must be talented, too, if she can tell where it came from out of 40+ kids and while driving with her back to them, too! I don't know what her silence meant afterward, but she probably didn't expect to hear what I said. I also told her it was just ridiculous and after that, this driver has no credibility with me at all, I don't believe anything she has to say.