It's a girl!

jenok · Post by **jenok** » Tue May 05, 2015 5:18 am

Well, finally the ultrasound I had Monday showed it is a girl. She was being stubborn and it took forever for her to move where they could get a good enough look to say girl or boy. The last ultrasound before this one I was only 18 weeks along and they couldn't get her to move where they could tell the gender. Her little feet and legs were crossed.I'm 28 weeks now. Haley is disappointed she was really wanting a baby brother but secretly i'm glad. All the boys or at least 9 out of 10 I see/know are always so rambunctious. We had a boy name picked out (Tristan Wyatt) so now we get to pick a girl name. Its going to be hard getting one that all of us like. The hubby like the name Jorgia (pronounced Georgia)but Haley and I don't. We aren't using any names that are already used for cousins, aunts, uncles, and such. I'll let ya'll know what we decide.

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Tue May 05, 2015 5:44 am

Congrats! My mother had two boys and one girl and she maintains that girls are way harder than boys to raise because girls have biological needs/issues that boys just don't and girls tend to be harder headed in her experience.lolI think it depends on mother how hard one gender is to raise compared to the other.My sister who will be 23 this year is a lot more hard headed than my brother and I am.lol

jenok · Post by **jenok** » Wed May 06, 2015 6:52 am

Haley can be hard headed especially now she is getting into her teens, but my sisters boy is 100% more so than her. However he does have an attention disorder.The few extra needs of a girl from a mothers standpoint really isn't that hard in my opinion, but would definitely create challenges for a father raising one by himself. Also Haley doesn't do all the girly stuff like fancy clothes, makeup, and such so I guess I have it a little easier with her. She does like to get as many shoes as I'll let her have but they're boy shoes. She likes getting extra clothes, but boy clothes and it doesn't matter if they're second hand or new.

Laurie LeAnn · Post by **Laurie LeAnn** » Thu May 07, 2015 6:13 pm

I have to boys and both were brought up knowing that you give respect and you get it back. They grew up knowing there are rules and when we go places you are to be responsible for your actions because if are acting like a brat. Mom will not be responsible for hers! You will get a spanking! I only remember spanking my kids 2 times for acting up in public and once a very old couple came up and said we had very well behaved kids..my cousins kid has a 3 year old and I wouldn't say he was rambunctious.. I would say he is a very spoiled best that needs hiss butt whooped a few times like they mean it! I was at a candle party and he was just jumping all over the couches then he came over and just swiped at my face knocking my glasses off. I was so mad! Not one word from his mom or the grandma .. I told him..you break my glasses I will spank your ¿°%€« and you won't think it's funny! Then they just looked at me like geeze it's only glasses..ya o.k. 300$ bifocals and my only pair and I'm blind w out them. Sat there and threw grapes all over and all I heard was stop over and over.. So in my opinion unless your child has some medical reason for being rambunctious.. I kind of blame parents for their lazy parenting and thinking that EVERYTHING is just so funny and cute..again my opinion.. I worked in the school system for a long time to and parents just could not understand why their child got bad colors at the end of the day and then we would have to tell them. Their behavior is unacceptable at school or language. The parent would then say oh well we thought it was funny at home...I am really happy for you that you are having a baby and many well wishes that's she is healthy and your very lucky. I always wanted a girl but after my boys I had to have a hysterectomy.

jenok · Post by **jenok** » Fri May 08, 2015 6:37 am

You are right the behavior the majority of the time is a result of what is allowed by the parents. It just seems like "in my opinion" that boys just naturally want to bounce off the walls and need reigned in more than girls but I can only judge by what I see in other kids. Maybe parents are just more lax in caring for boys than they are girls. It won't hurt my feelings much if it actually turns out to be a boy which is possible but not very likely.

Crabber85 · Post by **Crabber85** » Sun May 10, 2015 7:37 am

@jenok, the thing with my brother and I we were taught from a very early age by our dad that there are things that you just don't do and being wild was one of them, of course I was always the odd ball and got into the most trouble but that was because of my Autism which my parents understood and so they modified their parenting approach to best suit my needs and I turned out well as a result.Don't get me wrong I never got my way, my dad never ever even thought about spoiling his boys he was hard on us because he wanted us to be tough and resilient adults, my brother was born blue faced and spent most of his early childhood in the hospital with asthma related complications so of course our parents had to again modify their approach to best suit his needs and he turned out even better than I did, he is a well mannered, married, productive adult who has a stable job and has good values and morals.The issue with my sister was that she was the only girl in our family and the only girl between the four boys my aunt had and the three children my mother had so of course the inevitable happened and she was spoiled by nearly everybody in the family and had some attitude issues growing up eventually becoming very rebellious later on in her teen years.She was doing things that my brother and I never would have tried in our wildest dreams because we knew what the consequences were whereas she did not having never had any growing up which lead her into believing she could do anything she wanted and get away with it which she found out was wrong the hard way.I do agree that it has everything to do with the parents and their parenting style, if one or both of them fail to follow through with punishments or try to be the child's best friend instead of their parent it causes the child to become very self entitled later on in life which leads to all sorts of issues including demonstrating proper self control.There was a recent gene study done on young boys and girls who display mental disabilities like Autism and other learning disorders and they found that girls who are autistic or have some other learning disorder tend to have much more pronounced and severe cases because females can tolerate more of the gene mutations responsible for the disorders than boys can, boys show quicker because of our biology we can't tolerate as many of these gene mutations and so display symptoms at a much lower gene saturation level and because of this our symptoms are often less severe but more noticeable.In this case where you have four children two of each gender and one male and one female both have the same or similar disability it will be much more pronounced in the female than the male and according to the research the female will have nearly double the symptoms of the male covering the auditory/hearing function, speech, thought processing and memory retention.This has lead to a lot of misdiagnosis of the child being def and mute when in actuality these issues were caused at the root by Autism or an Autism like disorder.

jenok · Post by **jenok** » Thu May 14, 2015 8:37 am

Very interesting I didn't know that.Haley was disciplined her entire young life but the last few years her discipline has been lax resulting in a very well behaved child for everyone else teachers ect.. and only a semi behaved for my mom, myself, and her dad. She will moderately talk back, complains about having to do anything she doesn't want to do. Course i'm sure some of this is just going to be because of the dreaded "teenage years". My mom has been the one babysitting the kids spending probably more time with her than myself but every year seemed to get less and less strict and the kids got away with more and more stuff it wasn't really until last year that I was able to notice this though. This year I was hoping to fix it but with me being tired all the time its hard to follow through.

Laurie LeAnn · Post by **Laurie LeAnn** » Thu May 14, 2015 11:51 am

Sometimes kids that have to show respect and keep it under control firing periods of time like at a school setting will come home and fall apart or act up and that why the parents hears oh Johnny is such a good kid at school and your thinking really cause at home he isn't! They know it's a safe place to just go Ahhhhh! Let go..rebel.. that's when you have to go oh I don't think so to Some of it and pick your battles. There are something's you just say this is how it is and for us it was we eat at the table..I don't fix a separate meal cause you don't like it. If you think your goin to just around this house and doing nothing? Think again. You have chores and they will be done before you do anything fun. We don't run the streets. We go shop, we get what we need. Holidays and birthdays are gift days unless it's special .if we eat out same rule applies your butt sits at that table and if your butt feels the need to act up then rest assure my hand will make contact.. it may sound harsh but my kids got lots of nice comments when we were out. I didn't have to use my hand on the tush but once and it was like 2 seats they knew I was not kidding. I see so many parents laughing at their kids when they mis behave. You tube that little boy that argues w his mom and calls her Linda and she argues back..that makes me so sick..He acts like that.. I bet he will act like that when he gets arrested bet the cop won't argue.. I loathe disrespectful kids and it starts with the parents and I have no problems with telling a parent to their face if their kid is being nasty and mouthy. Parenting has changed so much in the past 20-30 years..

jenok · Post by **jenok** » Thu May 14, 2015 12:17 pm

Yeah it was kinda funny thinking back she was so well behaved in pre-k and kindergarten that the teachers were starting to wonder if she was actually developing normally and was slightly concerned. But both times during the 2nd half of school she would warm up and participate more and play with the other kids. Also once we knew what happened it was funny but when she first said something it wasn't. She all the sudden didn't want to go to school anymore so when I finally got out of her why we had a talk with the teacher. There was/is another Haylee that goes to school with her and was in the same class. Well she wasn't quite as well behaved and would get in trouble with the teacher. My Haley thought it was herself that kept getting in trouble and couldn't figure out why, she told us she wasn't talking or doing whatever else the (other girl) was getting in trouble for so she didn't want to go back to school. Once we talked to the teacher she didn't realize that my Haley thought she was the one in trouble and from then on tried to make it clearer who was in trouble. And that made her a lot happier.Usually the only time I get mad at her when we're in public is if my sis's kids and her are all together. They argue and fight all the time(this just started a year maybe 2 ago). If she is by herself in public she is well behaved. She loathes doing chores and thinks its unfair.