If hermit crabs ran the world

FlightResponse · Post by **FlightResponse** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:11 am

(I had WAAYY too much time on my hands this weekend. This just came to me during my remodeling.)Employee benefits would include paid time off for "molt leave."Designer fashion would still exist, in the form of shells rather than clothes. Instead of being ridiculously skinny, the models would have a high carotene intake and polish their exos for those walks on the runway. no need for lobster bibs at seafood restaurants! (that is, if the ethical debate over "eating our cousins" is not resolved in the lobsters' favor)Who needs elevators when you can get a hundred of your buddies/co-workers/fellow mallrats together, get into a crab pile, and climb up a few stories that way?Instead of Freud, Jung, and the "Oedipus complex," modern psychoanalysis would have it's roots in disorders centered around the dropping of limbs and the "nudity complex."

Dakiato · Post by **Dakiato** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:01 am

Eating Right is a nessescity, people who don't look like they are deadAll Bars have Silversides N Honey Happy HoursThe latest craze is bubbler bowl surfingWe would keep little humans as petsThe mall is a giant shell shop basket

Crabby Abby · Post by **Crabby Abby** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:31 am

Gas stations would be replaced with Fresh and Salt water pumps.Paramedics would rush expectant mothers to the ocean to toss their eggs rather than the hospitalThe term 'hanging out' would now be cause for alarmAll homes would become subterraneanKrill and wormcastings would be standard take-out deliveryBuffets would be held outdoors covering the landscape and feature aging foods and fruitsNo concern for excessive sodium intake, salt is encouraged!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:27 am

This is an amusing thread, Flight Response!It would be socially acceptable to:-change shells in public-touch a perfect stranger with all your feelers-crawl back into your shell and curl up in a fetal position-hog the dinner plate

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:45 am

Trying to get your friend to "come out of his shell" and get to know other hermies would be considered attempted murder.At the mall, all of the shells you be arranged according to their opening size and there would be exclusive shops for shells with d-shaped and o-shaped openings. If you're a PP and you're in the wrong shop, the E's would look at you funny and whisper to each other "What's he doing in here?"

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:47 am

Oh...and there would be nets overhead so that hermies could move around safely and not worry about birds.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:02 am

At Christmas time, shopping for the newest, hippest micro shell that your little one requested could incite a croaking riot.

FlightResponse · Post by **FlightResponse** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:19 am

quote:Originally posted by Kat_L:At Christmas time, shopping for the newest, hippest micro shell that your little one requested could incite a croaking riot. on a similar note, teenage female crabs would be getting part time jobs at fast food places and blowing their paychecks on bling shellson an equally similar note, the "kelpshakes" and similar fast food products on Spongebob would become reality

FlightResponse · Post by **FlightResponse** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:24 am

sushi/sashimi delivery would be a lot more common, and forget the chopsticks!

Crabby Abby · Post by **Crabby Abby** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:25 am

Pinching would become an acceptable response to fear or stress!Air conditioning would become obsolete.

Nicole · Post by **Nicole** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:25 am

quote:Paramedics would rush expectant mothers to the ocean to toss their eggs rather than the hospital I vote for that one! - Everyone would live along the Florida coast and all points south- No need for public toilets; just stop, drop and go- Sidewalks would be littered with decaying leaves, sand, and coconut fiber as well as driftwood pieces and rotting animal carcasses

FlightResponse · Post by **FlightResponse** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:15 am

a trip to the day spa would consist of a mineral/saltwater/chamomile soak to soothe and nourish the tail, then a pedicure to sharpen and polish the toenails. Follow that with a full body wax to get rid of all that unwanted setae; and top it all off with a coconut oil massage.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:35 am

Boy you all had to catch me when I am tired and giddy.....this is great FlightResponse!!It would be easy to tell which country your from, Carribean, Equidore, Autralia, etc. and the only wars would be antennae wars!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:02 am

Female hermies would scope out male hermies based soley on the size of their big pincher.The males with scrawny big pinchers would order molting hormone suplements over the internet so they could compete for the girls.

Crabby Abby · Post by **Crabby Abby** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:22 am

Nobody would think you were a little off if you hung upside-down from a branch.